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Live-in Relationship VS Marriage

A man is opposite to a woman only on the physiological level. In no other way are they opposite. But we have made such a big issue of it. It is a simple difference nature has made for the perpetuation of the race but because this need is there within you, and because you have a few more sensibilities and stronger emotions compared to an animal, we institutionalized our sexuality. That is what marriage is. And because we have to nurture our children and bring them up, unless there is a committed atmosphere, it is not going to happen properly. So we created this institution of marriage so that your sexuality and caring for progeny is also handled, and children grow up in more stable atmospheres.

If you just look at these physical needs as what they are, they won’t be with you for too long. They are strong during a certain part of your life. After that they fade away. But now you have been told that without a passionate relationship, your life is empty. Because of this, no matter what you do, even if everything in your life is happening beautifully, but you don’t get into some relationship like this, you feel like you are missing something. It is not so, but society is training people like this.You must learn to look beyond the brain-washing that society has done to you, whichever society it is. Only then your intelligence will function. It is time you thought fresh, free from all those things.

A certain part of the population is trying to demolish the institution of marriage because of how marriage has been misused. The so-called rebellious ones think marriage is bondage, so they don’t want marriage. They want free relationships or cohabitation or whatever. Rebelling without any purpose doesn’t mean anything. It is just the ego. The ego always wants to break everything and do something new. But if you carry on with this new thing for 10 years, this will also become old and miserable. Even couples who are in a live-in relationship are fighting with each other. So, these problems are not because of marriage. It is because of people’s own incompleteness and immaturity.I would say that demolishing the institution of marriage would be foolish right now because you still don’t have a good substitute for it. It is something we created for our convenience, but still you don’t have an alternative better than that. With the alternatives that have been created, there is so much struggle in people. People thought they could be with anybody, but they struggle, they fight, they have their jealousies and all sorts of problems. Isn’t that the reality of the world? Seeing all this, the institution of marriage was created.

This is why in Indian tradition, we created a certainty to relationships. Once you are married, it is for life. There is something very beautiful about it, but at the same time, if it becomes a source of exploitation, it can become very ugly. So which system is better? There is no system which is good in the world because every system can be exploited and misused. At the same time, every system can be used to live wonderfully. What we do out of it is the whole thing. So, whether a live-in relationship or cohabitation or whatever is suitable or not is an individual thing. There is no common prescription. But from what I see, most human beings don’t have the stability of mind to handle constant uncertainty; they will go mad, which is what is happening in the West. Too many people are going insane simply because they are not able to handle the uncertainty of life. Your economic situations, your social situations, even your physical situations are uncertain. But if at least in your emotional situations there is some stability, it gives you a base to live your life more effectively. If you do not need it, it is up to you. It is individual but most people need it.

Questions for discussion:

  1. Is it better to go for live-in relationship rather than marriage?
  2. What are very fundamentals of marriage? Why has marriage come up in our society?
  3. Do you agree that live-in relationship is a substitute for marriage?
  4. Should we demolish the institution of marriage because it has been misused?
  5. Do you agree that we should encourage free relationships or cohabitation? Why?
  6. Are you ready to live with someone who has different tastes and choices?
  7. What is your ultimate goal/motivation to live with someone? Are you and your partner willing to share finances?
  8. Do live-in relationships successfully lead to marriage? 
  9. Does freedom makes the difference between a live-in relationship and a marriage relationship?
  10. Should we replace marriages with live-in relationships in our society?
  11. What is the opinion of your family members regarding live-in relationships? 
  12. Are you scared that marriage might ruin your relationship? Does the thought of divorce scare you?
  13. Are you scared that your sex life will suffer after marriage?

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